01. THE SIMPSONS MAIN TITLE THEME (Extend)
 
02. WE DO (THE STONECUTTERS' SONG)
Who controls the British Crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do, we do.
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do, we do.
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do, we do.
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do, we do!

03. DANCIN' HOMER (Medley)
There's a swingin' town I know called...
Capital City
People stop and scream hello in...
Capital City!
It's the kind of place that makes a bum feel like a king
and it makes a king feel like some nutty coo-coo super king.
It's against the law to frown in
Capital City!
You'll giggle like a stupid clown
When you chance to see 4th street and D!
Once you get a whiff of it, you'll never want to roam,
From Capital City, my home sweet swingin' home!

04. HOMER & APU (Medley)
whether igloo hut or lean-to
or geodisic dome
there's no place that i have been-to
that i'd rather call home
when i first arrived you were all such jerks
but now i've come to love your quirks
maggie with her eyes so bright
marge with hair by frank lloyd wright
lisa can philosophise
bart's adept at spinning lies
homer's a delightful fella
sorry 'bout the salmonela
who needs the quik-e-mart
now here's the tricky part
oh won't you rhyme with me?
who needs the quik-e-mart
their floors are sticky-mart
they made dad sicky-mart
i'll throw a brick-e-mart
the quik-e-mart is really d'oh
who needs the quik-e-mart
not me
who needs the quik-e-mart
not me
who needs the quik-e-mart? i dooooooo.

05. 'ROUND SPRINGFIELD (Medley)
When the Jazzman's testifyin', a faithless man believes.
He can sing you into paradise, or bring you to your knees.
Jazzman, take my blues away,
make my pain the same as yours with every change you play.
Jazzman, oh, Jazzman.

06. "OH, STREETCAR!" (The Musical)
Long before the Superdome
Where the Saints of football play...
Lived a city that the damned call home
Hear their hellish rondelet...

New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks and whores
New Orleans!
Tacky overpriced souvenir stores

If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip
To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip'
New Orleans!
Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile
New Orleans!
Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank
New Orleans!
------------------------------------------------------------
I thought my life would be a Mardi Gras,
A never ending party - hah!
I'm a faded southern Dame without a dime.
(some talking)
I am just a simple paperboy,
No romance do I seek...
I just wanted forty cents,
For my deliveries last week...
Will this bewitching floozy,
Seduce this humble newsie?
Oh, what's a paperboy to...
Dooo?
------------------------------------------
STELLLAAAA!  STELLLAAAA!
Can't you hear me yella!
You're puttin' me through Hella!
Stella...  STELLLAAAA!
-------------------------------------------
Marge/Blanche: Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers...
               (music begins)
         Cast: You can always depend on the kindness of strangers...
               To pluck up your spirits, and shield you from dangers...
Marge/Blanche: Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret...
         Cast: A stranger's just a friend you haven't met...
               You haven't met...
               STREETCAR!

07. JINGLE BELLS - Robert Goulet
Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin lays an egg
Batmobile lost it’s wheel
And the Joker got away

08. $PRINGFIELD (Medley)

09. "ITCHY & SCRATCHY" MAIN TITLE THEME
They fight, They Bite
They Fight and Fight and Bite
Fight, Fight, Fight, Bite, Bite, Bite
Its The Itchy and Scratchy Show

10. "ITCHY & SCRATCHY" END CREDITS THEME
They fought, They Bit
They Fought and Fought and Bit
Fought, Fought, Fought, Bit, Bit, Bit
This was The Itchy and Scratchy Show 

11. THE DAY THE VIOLENCE DIED (Medley)
Boy: Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?
Amendment: I'm not garbage, kid.

I'm an amendment to be
Yes an amendment to be
And I'm hoping that they ratify me
There's a lot of flag burners
Who have got too much freedom
I wanna make it legal for policemen
To beat 'em 'cause there's limits to our liberty
At least I hope and pray that there are
'Cause those liberal freaks go too far

Boy: But why can't we just make a law against flag burning?
Amendment: Because that law would be unconstitutional
But if we CHANGED the Constitution...
Boy: Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!
Amendment: Now you're catching on!

Bart: What the hell is this?
Lisa: It's one of those campy 70s throwbacks that appeal to Generation X-ers
Bart: We need another Vietnam. Thin out their ranks a little.

Boy: But what if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?
Amendment: Then I"ll crush all opposition to me
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay
If he fights back
I'll say that he's gay
Congressman: Good news, Amendment! They ratified you.
You're in the U.S. Constitution!
Amendment: Oh yeah! Door's open, boys!
(sounds of gun and bomb-toting amendments running into the Capitol)

12. SENOR BURNS - Tito Puente & Jazz Ensemble
Singer: Wounds won't last long, but an insulting song
Burns will always carry with him,
So I'll settle my score on the salsa floor,
With this vengeful Latin rhythm.

Chorus: Bu-urns!
Singer: Con un corrazon de perro.
Chorus: Senor Bu-urns!
Singer: El diablo con dinero.

It may not surprise you,
But all of us despise you,
Please die,
And fry,
In Hell,
You rotten,
Rich old wretch,
Adios viejo!

13. THE SIMPSONS END CREDITS ("Afro-Cuban")

14. YOUR WIFE DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU
You work all day
For some old man
Sweat and break your back (uh huh)
Then you go back to your castle
But your queen won't cut you slack (that's true)
That's why you're losing all your hair
That's why you're overweight (uh huh)
That's why you flipped your pick- up truck
Right off the inner state (That's right!
Except for the pick- up truck)
Now, you talk so tough and act so rough
But darlin' you can't hide
The heartache and the sadness
That's buried deep inside
There's a lot of bull they hand you
There's nothin' you can do
Your wife don't understand you
But I do
Your wife don't understand you
But I do
No, no- one understands you but I do
I said noone understands but i dooooo!
 

15. KAMP KRUSTY (Medley)
Campers: Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
         By the shores of Big Snake Lake.
         Though your swings are rusty,
         We know they'll never break.
Kearney: Louder!  Faster!
Campers: From your gleaming mess hall,
         To your hallowed baseball field,
         Your spic n' span infirmary,
         Where all our wounds are healed.
         Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
         Below MountAvalanche.
         We will always love Kamp Krusty,
         A registered trademark of the Krusty Corporation,
         All rights reserved!

16. THE SIMPSONS END CREDITS ("Australian")

17. THE SIMPSONS END CREDITS ("Street Blues")

18. THE SIMPSONS END CREDITS ("Mad World")

19. TREEHOUSE OF HORROR V (Medley)

20. HONEY ROASTED PEANUTS - Homer & Marge

21. BOY SCOUTZ N THE HOOD (Medley)
    Bart: OK, we're young, rich, and full of sugar. What do we do?
Milhouse: [yelling] Let's go crazy, Broadway style!
    Both: [singing]          Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town:
          The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down.
          The stray dogs go to the animal pound,
    Bart: Springfield,Springfield!
Milhouse: Springfield,Springfield!
  Sailor: New York, New York!
    Bart: New York is that-a-way, man!
  Sailor: Thanks, kid!
    Both: [singing] It's a hell of a...toooown!

22. TWO DOZEN AND ONE GREYHOUNDS (Medley)
Some men hunt for sport,
Others hunt for food,
The only thing I'm hunting for,
Is an outfit that looks good...
See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest,
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish setter.
See this hat, 'twas my cat,
My evening wear - vampire bat,
These white slippers are albino
African endangered rhino.
Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtles' necks, I've got my share,
Beret of poodle, on my noodle
It shall rest,
Try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two,
See my vest, see my vest,
See my vest.
Like my loafers?  Former gophers
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedoWould be best,
So let's prepare these dogs,
(mrs potts)Kill two for matching clogs,
See my vest, see my vest,
Oh please, won't you see my vest.

23. "EYE ON SPRINGFIELD" THEME

24. FLAMING MOE'S - Kipp Lennon, with Cast
When the weight of the world has got you down
and you want to end your life.
Bills to pay, a dead-end job,
and problems with the wife.
But don't throw in the tow'l,
'cuz there's a place right down the block...
Where you can drink your misery away...
At Flaming Moe's....(Let's all go to Flaming Moe's
When liquor in a mug
can warm you like a hug.
And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away...
Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away... 

25. HOMER'S BARBERSHOP QUARTET (Medley)
Baby On Board, How I've adored
That sign on my car's windowpane
A bounce in my step, loaded with pep
'Cause I'm driving in the carpool lane.
Call me a square, friend I don't care
'Cause that little yellow sign can't be ignored
I'm tellin' you it's mighty nice
Each trip's a trip to paradise
With my baby on board

26. TV SUCKS! - Homer & Bart

27. A FISH CALLED SELMA (Medley)
spoken: Help the human's about to excape
Get Your Paws Off Me You Dirty Ape
( gasp) He Can Talk x7
I Can Sing!!!
Ooo Help Me Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
Troy: What's wrong with me?
Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy
Troy: I want a second opinion.
Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy.
Chorus
Troy: Can I play the piano anymore?
Dr. Zaius: Of course you can.
Troy: Well I couldn't before.
Chorus( 2x )
--------------------------------------------------
I hate every ape I see,
From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z.
No you'll never make a monkey out of me!
Oh my god, I was wrong.
It was Earth all along.
You finally made a monkey
Yes, we finally made a monkey
Yes, you finally made a monkey out of me!
I love you Dr. Zaius.!

28. SEND IN THE CLOWNS - Krusty, Sideshow Mel
Send in the clowns
Those laughy daffy clowns
Send is those soulful and doleful shmotes by the bowlful clowns
Send in the clowns
(mel)They’re already here