Simpson Info
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Simpson Songs
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Simpson Fun
Scorpio!
He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth!
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health!
He'll welcome you into his lair
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest!
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year!
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beers!
He loves German beer!
The Spring in Springfield
[Homer]
You could close down Moe's
Or the Kwik-E-Mart
And nobody would care
But the heart and soul of Springfield's in our Maison Derriere
[Belle]
We're the sauce on your steak
The cheese in your cake
We put the spring in Springfield
[Dancer 1] We're the lace on the nightgown
[Dancer 2] The point after touchdown
[Belle & Dancers] Yes, we put the spring in Springfield
[Belle]
We're that little extra spice that makes existence extra-nice
A giddy little thrill at a reasonable price
[Rev Lovejoy] Our only major quarrel's with your total lack of morals
[Dancer 1] Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad
[Dancer 2] They seem to entertain your dad
[Belle & Dancers]
The gin in your martini, the clams on your linguine
Yes, we keep the <boing> in Springfield
[Wiggum, Krusty & Skinner] We remember our first visit
[Mayor Quimby] The service was exquisite!
[Mrs Quimby] Why, Joseph, I had no idea!
[Mayor Quimby] Come on now, you were working here!
[Grampa & Jasper]
Without it, we'd have had no fun
Since the March of 1961!
[Bart] To shut it down now would be twisted
[Jimbo, Dolph & Kearney] We just heard this place existed
[Dancers] We're the highlights in your hairdo
[Apu] The extra arms on Vishnu!
[Dancers] So, don't take the <sproing>
[Men] We won't take the <slide whistle>
[All] Yes, let's keep the <crash of two garbage can lids hit together> in Springfield!
Can I Borrow a Feeling?
Can I borrow a feeling?
Can you lend me a jar of love?
Hurtin' hearts need some healin'
Take my hand with your glove of love
Joy to the World (Nelson's Song)
Joy to the world!
The teacher's dead!
We barbequed her head!
What happened to her body?
We flushed it down the potty!
And round and round it goes
And round and round it goes...
The Perfect Nanny
[Lisa] If you wish to be our sitter
Please be sweet, and never bitter
Help us with maths and book reports
[Bart] Might I add, eat my shorts
[Lisa] Bart!
[Bart] Just cuttin' through the treacle
[Lisa] If Maggie's fussy, don't avoid her
[Bart] Let me get away with moider
[Lisa] Teach us songs and magic tricks
[Homer] Might I add, no fat chicks!
[Marge] Homer!
[Lisa] The nanny we want is kindly and sage
[Homer] And one who will work for minimum wage
[Lisa] Hurry, nanny, things are grim -
[Grampa] - I'll do it!
[Bart & Lisa] Anyone but him!
Cut Every Corner
[Shary Bobbins]
If there's a task that must be done,
Don't turn your tail and run
Don't pout! Don't sob!
Just do a half-assed job!
If you cut every corner,
It's really not so bad.
Everybody does it,
Even Mum and Dad.
If nobody see it, then nobody gets mad!
[Bart] It's the American way!
[Shary Bobbins] The policeman on the beat needs some time to rest his feet.
[Chief Wiggum] Fighting crime is not my cup of tea!
[Shary Bobbins] And the clerk who runs the store can charge a little more for meat!
[Apu] For meat
[Shary Bobbins] And milk
[Apu] And milk!
[Shary Bobbins & Apu]
From nineteen-eighty-four!
[Shary Bobbins] If you cut every corner, you'll have more time for play!
[Shary Bobbins & the Simpsons] It's the American way!
Stay Awake (The Boozehound)
[Shary Bobbins]
In front of a tavern, flat on his face
A boozehound named Barney is pleading his case...
[Barney]
Buy me a beer, two bucks a glass
Come on, help me, I'm freezing my ass
Buy me brandy, a snifter of wine
Who am I kidding, I'll drink turpentine
[Moe]
Move it, ya drunk
Or I'll blast your rear end
[Barney] I found two bucks
[Moe] Then come in, my friend
[Shary Bobbins] And so, let us leave on this heartwarming scene
[Bart] Can I be a boozehound?
[Homer] Not 'til you're fifteen
We're Happy Just the Way We Are
[Homer]
Around the house, I never lift a finger
As a husband and father, I'm sub-par
I'd rather drink a beer than win father of the year
I'm happy with things the way they are
[Lisa] I'm getting used to never getting noticed
[Bart] I'm stuck here until I can steal a car
[Marge]
The house is still a mess
And I'm going bald from stress!
[Homer, Bart & Lisa] But we're happy just the way we are!
[Flanders] They're not perfect, but the Lord says love thy neighbour
[Homer] - Shut up, Flanders
[Flanders] Okely-dokely-doo
[Shary]
Don't think it's sour grapes
But you're all a bunch of apes
And so I must be leaving you!
Poochie's Rap
The name's Poochie D
And I rock the telly
I'm half Joe Camel and a third Fonzarelli
I'm the kung-fu hippy
From gangsta city
I'm a rappin' surfer
You the fool I pity
Krusty the Clown Prison Special Song
I slugged some jerk in Tahoe
They gave me one to three
My high-priced lawyer sprung me
On a technicality
I'm just visiting Springfield Prison
I get to sleep at home tonight
Love-Matic Grampa Theme Song
While shopping for some cans
An old man passed away
He floated up toward heaven
But got lost along the way
Now he's the Love-matic Grampa!
The wise, Socratic Grampa!
And he'll fill our hearts with love!